"Son of a bitch, is it humid in here?"

I don't know what I look like. Is that common? Do you all know what you look like without a mirror handy? I looked into the mirror today and actually felt awkward staring myself in the eyes. Anticipation took hold. Nervousness. As if the person looking back at me was going to smile while I stared blankly. Oh well, at least I'll never have to describe my own face to a sketch artist working for the police on an investigation that hinges on my recollection. It doesn't even bother me. Just peculiar.

blurry.

please dont snow. let the rain stay for a while. i just think its bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is. please dont let the memories of the past flood back. just keep on raining. piano or not. are hospitals clean or contaminated. and when it rained, she felt the world fall into place. house. different doesnt feel so different. could you compromise a career for love, for family. waiting just to see.

Friendship?

When "good times" become uncomfortable silences
Full of wondering, "what the other person is thinking?"
When before, nothing mattered at all
What do you do?

When everything falls to polite laughter
But the other person doesn't know that
And is still in full speed mode
What do you do?

When sometimes, you don't want to tell that person anything
Because it's not the right time or
Simply because it's not the right person
What do you do?

When you can't sleep because you're thinking
Too hard? Too much? Too little?
What went wrong? Why was it so right?
What do you do?

When your mood switches with the people you're with
You have laughs with new people
But you get mad around the old
What do you do?

When you slowly forget what life used to be like
Back when there weren't any distractions
And it was just you and me
What do you do?

When you want to cry
But tears to don't form for some reason
Was it because you didn't feel that much emotion?
What do you do?

When you lose someone completely
Things won't be the same
And things can't be the same
What do you do?

When you realize, that that someone was there for you
But you weren't for them
And yet you feel indifferent, still
What do you do?

When others things happen around you
To kill time
More break ups, more break ups
What do you do?

When the climax of everything was the best
But then it trailed off
And without an ending
What do you do?

When you realize that you could call that one person up
But only to realize you don't want to think of them anymore
You've got new things to worry about
What do you do?

When your focuses in life change
And the focus is on new people
Is there room left for the old too?
What do you do?

When you really want to concentrate
And your mind wanders more
Nothing is in focus
What do you do?

When dancing doesn't seem right anymore
When the slightest movements are interpreted wrong
When ignorance is bliss
What do you do?

When you finally feel sorry
But you can't say it
Because things won't be the same
What do you do?

When you have one last contact
Sitting alone with only memories
Empty photographs
What do you do?

When you notice shadows more than the sun
Follow the wrong advice
And mistakenly ruin everything else along the way
What do you do?

When small talk doesn't even come around
And you think that the other person is avoiding you
When really, they're just busy doing other things
What do you do?

When someone confronts you
Confides in you and expects feedback,
That you can't give
What do you do?

When you know more than the other person
But you can't say it because you're obliged not to
And it hurts to see them confused
What do you do?

When you like someone so much
You can't stop thinking about them
And you don't know if they do the same
What do you do?

When you're pushed across your limits
But for once, it feels nice
For once, it's ok
What do you do?

When songs that you play are only mellow
Summer could not come any slower
And you are always cold
What do you do?

When you say that you'll be there until the end
But the ending come sooner than you thought?
Are you relieved? Are you distraught?
What do you do?

When you forget to include someone
On purpose? By mistake?
No, it has to be both
What do you do?

When people ask you "What's up?"
And you really can't answer truthfully
So you lie
What do you do?

When you only fall asleep with: music in your ears
And thoughts of the next day
And slacking off
What do you do?

When all of a sudden, it hits you
That you had a friend all along,
But reciprocation was too hard
What do you do?

When you finally accept that you forgot
That you didn't notice
That you were faking
What do you do?

When jealousy gets the best of you
So you do the opposite
A huge lazy hypocrite
What do you do?

When tests own you, and doing your homework doesn't help
Understanding is a key
That isn't unlocking anything
What do you do?

When your parents call you at 6am
To tell you to do your homework
Because if you don't you're never coming back
What do you do?

When you feel lonelier than ever
More unproductive than before
And feel more regret with each step
What do you do?

When plans fall apart
Things come undone
And you find that they're irreversible
What do you do?

When you lose
You die
You cry
What do you do?

Honestly? You go on with life.

photo credit: Liz Zaretsky

"When I had what alcoholics refer to as--a moment of clarity"

I'm done writing stuff in the windows that post them, I just lost like 4 paragraphs of rambling I was going to "entertain" you with.
Anyways, heres the important parts:

Oh holy shit, a draft got saved on the site, wizard! I guess you get to suffer through it anyways.
________________________


I've been coming home a lot this past year, more than I ever have, yet oddly enough I know the least amount of people home now. I like that.



It's always a pleasure running into people that I used to talk to--you see for me, I have two ways of remembering people and it usually all ends up the same. Either I remember someone as having some negative connotation in my mind (that I will probably give another chance by being friendly) or I will remember that they were pleasant (or tell myself they were) and be myself. This oversimplification is caused by my inability to recall past events on a whim, I usually need a trigger. Hey it makes my life easy enough, I mean shit the only way I hold a grudge is over something huge, and all I remember is that something huge happened.



Anyways, I've been coming home more because I love the feeling of arriving in familiar places. I usually don't remember being bored places, I just remember that I had fun at some point so it's possible again. So for the first day or two, just being in a different place makes me happy. Maybe the way my memory works is a coping mechanism to allow me those awesome blissfully unaware days before I return to being normal and affected by things--maybe it isn't, who knows?




Bro-nus points if you name the movie the title is from.


The most simple satisfaction while driving is being the first one at the train tracks when a train that is super long and slow is there. Sounds pretty shitty doesn't it? You almost made it! Ahhh but look at it this way--you are now not going to be that douche bag that takes an extra 30 seconds to move after the train is gone. You take your responsibility to heart and don't waste any one's time, and subconsciously everyone in the line behind you is going "at least this inconvenient stop wasn't exacerbated by some jerk-off that made a 10 minute stop 30 seconds longer." Think about that the next time you get pissed about little things.

Changes in IMSA

If you could change IMSA, how would you do it? From the biggest things to the smallest, what would you change?

The only things I can think of right now are:

internet shutting off at 1
the sodexo food service
and in-hall + in-room.

I'm writing a paper on this and would like any ideas you might want to throw out there.

And Mamatha, I'm definitely expecting a response from you, Ms. President-Elect :)

alright fine

speaking of old finds sophomore year. here is the rap song that I wrote sophomore year and wanted to record to the tune of Gangsta's Paradise...
i thought i was exceptionally clever.

As I walk through the hallway from my dorm to Old Caf
I take a look at my left and realize there’s a Mac lab
Cause I’ve been chewing and choking so long that
Even Phubaba thinks that my mind has gone.

But I ain’t ever thrown out food that didn’t deserve it
Me be eating tofu pie, you know that’s unheard of.
They better watch where they looking and how they cooking
Or you and the cooks might drink your own chocolate milk.
I really hate complaining but they gotta know
As they serve, I see my milk being overflowed. Dang!
I’m the kind of G other sophomores wanna be like on my knees doing the chore - wiping milk off of the floor.

I been spending most my nights, dreaming of Sodexho Paradise (x2)
Keep spending most their nights, dreaming of Sodexho Paradise (x2)

Look at the ID scanner, they got me facing
I can’t scan my ID in, it takes acrobatic moves
So I gotta be down on the floor tiles
Trying to crawl inside Sodexho like a Vietnamese partisan
I’m an educated fool, with BC on my mind
Got my tray in my hand, and a bloodshot eye
I’ma go and sit at the sticky dirty table, and the salt is never there, so don’t arouse my anger. Dang!
Chem ain’t nothing but a minute away. I’m dining in –
I have to, what can I say.
I ate the rice now, and will I live to see the evening check
The way things is going what the heck…

Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the burger meat is you and me

I been spending most my nights, dreaming of Sodexho Paradise (x2)
Keep spending most their nights, dreaming of Sodexho Paradise (x2)

everyone makes mistakes

An Old Find

I was a weird sophomore:

Ahoy Tony!

I like the things you do

Ahoy Tony!

If I could I would be you

You're the one and only tiger

with the one and only taste

you know how to make a breakfast

and make it

GOOOOOOLD [or arrrrrrrrrrrr!]

Frosted Dubloons are more than good, they're

GOOOOOOLD [or arrrrrrrrrrrr!]

-9/27/06

Life support

I basically just threw this blog on life support because I nearly let this sucker die. Also, I'm going to need life support after this Scrubs pandemic takes a more firm grip on my life, I'm pretty sure it's been less than a week and I'm on Season 3--then again, to my credit, it is only 20 minutes per episode..wait.. thats only like 16 hours of my life. Ahh a little perspective helps everything.
Think about what you do to waste time, then just put it in percentage of your overall time on Earth, and suddenly, you haven't wasted that much time. Thank me later, I know your day just got a lot better. Heres a preliminary chart to help you feel better almost instantly.
______________
Watched all of Scrubs: Wayyyyy less than a percent of your life.
Writing blogs (Alot?): Wayyyyyy less than a percent of your life.
Skate Boarding Alot: Probably a percent of your life.
in School sleeping (50% of the time):probably like 4-5% of your life

Suddenly skate boarding, writing stuff and watching Scrubs is more productive than school. I know, I'm your hero, it's okay.

It's over

It's over, finally over. Finally I will no longer have to see my face as I walk into every res hall, no longer will I have to focus on my image as a candidate, no longer will I have to worry about writing the perfect speech. It's over, at least for another year.

No more campaigning, no more having to run against someone you don't want to have to run against, no more weird Honesty Box messages (at least regarding elections).

It's over, it's gone, what happened happened. Thank god.

Tomorrow, I get to delete my Facebook group.
Tonight, I still have to finish my Synergy application.

So happy...

i am so happy that this horrible election is over.

i am ready to move on, i am ready to sleep, and i am ready for my heart to slow down.

i would ask are you ready, but im sure you are.

Guess what I can do that you can't.

Hint: I'm doing it right now.
Hint: I'm not double-jointed.

Creativity at its finest

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7334233.stm
-A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported.

I love people who think outside of the box.

The [Lost] World of Literary Greatness

I was in Borders recently, and I bought a book (not for myself). However, I did sign up for this Borders Rewards thing (apparently ever $150 I spend at Borders will get me a $5 discount. Wonderful, isn't it?) So I'm sitting here writing my Spanish Essay on my second monitor while staring at the card that I put on my key ring, and my mind begins to wander. I start wondering when the last time I read a book for myself was. For probably the last four months (if not more), the only things that I have read in print have been for Lit, History, SIR, or test prep. I used to be the one who had these lists of books that I wanted to read, lists that seemed to never end as I added new ones all the time. Now, the lists are stagnant as I neglect to add new books and forget what the old ones were. Meanwhile, while I try to stay up-to-date on current events, I'm hardly as informed as I used to be.

I guess this is yet another "man I miss having time for this sort of thing pre-IMSA but I still love IMSA (sometimes)" moment. But I'm wondering...

There are indeed some people at IMSA who find time to read what they want once in a while, and can stay up-to-date on the news. So for those of us who don't have time, is it because we really don't or because we just won't find the time? Personally, I'm also a fairly slow reader (which I really hate), so that kind of has an effect on it for me.

What do you think?

I Can See Clearly Now?

The rain is gone, that's for sure. But today, just now, walking back from classes, my eyes did that thing! That thing, meaning, I didn't even realize how bright out it was until I opened the door to 06 and couldn't even see objects in front of me. My eyes took about three minutes to adjust to the indoors. Going up the stairs was an adventure. This is the first time that this has happened to me, and I think that means good things (good weather) are in our future. This is quite a nice perk to my otherwise ridiculously stressful day. I'm off to do miles of more work (I think using 'miles' as a term expressing a large amount is pretty hip. You can use it if you want).
P.S. I'm really happy this blog exists. I thought about mentioning the presence of the sun in my facebook status, but it wouldn't be in depth enough. Or, I would try to make it in depth enough and people would just de-friend me and think I'm crazy. I guess I thought it'd be more appreciated here.
P.P.S. I wanted to make some pun with 'Thank God' and the word 'blog', because sometimes 'blog' is substituted in for 'God', (Example from the movie, Juno, "Honest to Blog?") but I just didn't feeeel it. I invite anyone who actually read this to take a shot.

Student Apathy

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=10921273777&ref=nf

In this facebook note, Jon confronts those who think that this year in student council was a failed one. It got me wondering, what would be a successful year in student council? I mean, what do students really want changed? I see ambitious student council president candidates with a drive to change IMSA and how student council is run. They have the will, but without students to put forth things we want changed, there's no way we can change this mindset of student council as a futile attempt to improve student's lives. Instead of complaining that student council has done nothing, voice your ideas on what they should do.

What if...

IMSA had existed in the 60s? My quadmate and I were discussing this on the way to Walgreens the other day. We walked over the hill and were talking about how kids probably would've just hung out there and done LSD and stuff all the time.

But seriously, this is kind of coming from the fact that I just saw Across the Universe over break, and I'm thinking of how crazy that decade was, with all the protests and hippies and fun stuff like that. And IMSA, being pretty predominantly liberal, would've been full of things like that, no doubt.

Thoughts?

Comic Relief:

- The use of humor to lighten the mood of a serious or tragic story, especially in plays. The technique is very common in Elizabethan works, and can be an integral part of the plot or simply a brief event designed to break the tension of the scene.
The Gravediggers' scene in William Shakespeare's Hamlet is a frequently cited example of comic relief. (http://gale.cengage.com/free_resources/glossary/glossary_bc.htm)

- A humorous scene or incident that alleviates tension in an otherwise serious work. Often these moments enhance thematic significance of a story in addition to providing humor. (http://www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/a/c/ach13/Asia/Glossary.htm)

- A bathroom only for comics.