Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday, September 1, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
there is no cure for cancer
today i freaked out at this poor lady just because she was hopeful.
i'll let you all in on a little secret: there is no cure for cancer. cancer is a very, very complex disease that has no one cure. can a combination of new techniques make cancer an entirely curable disease? Yes. But there is no cure for cancer.
back to the poor lady: I went into sunglass hut because they sent me a 25$ gift card. they are smart--when you buy something, they send you a gift card for 25$ knowing that there is nothing sub 150$ in their store and hoping that you will spend the other 125+ to buy a sweet new pair of shades. so i compliment susan, the manager, on their strategy because i can admire that.
this was my mistake, because she talked to me for 40 minutes after that about her rare cancer, some jewish doctor in boston, turmeric (the indian spice she eats a lot of) and how i was important and should not get caught up in the system. she didn't really know what she was talking about, but she asked me to wish her luck in her biopsy on thursday and to keep up my work and find the cure of cancer (in case she is wrong about the jewish doctor in boston who solved it). i wished her good luck and looked up the stuff she wrote down on the back of her business card for me. please wish susan good luck.
Friday, August 8, 2008
camping
i was camping the other day in the negev desert, and there was a nice english family next to us. we started to chat it up, and we were getting along just fine. they asked me if any tour group in america would do something like this, when i realized i dont think many of them would. we would go to hotels and such. he told me his theory--that barack obama was going to change it all. that barack obama should run on a platform of americans camping. i like it.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
What I hate seeing on websites
"Sorry, yourscreenname is already registered as a Screen Name." Someone else beat you to the original wit you thought you had. Ha!
The most frustrating thing is seeing that message....thirty times.
The most frustrating thing is seeing that message....thirty times.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunblock
Apparently it's obvious to people that I buy a lot of sunblock. This guy at Walgreens was asking me about it as if I'm some kind of expert... Which I guess I am.
Also, how much difference is there really between spf 30 and 50? Or 50 and 70 for that matter? Hmm...
Also, how much difference is there really between spf 30 and 50? Or 50 and 70 for that matter? Hmm...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
customer satisfaction
"Sir, the only difference between the Reduced Fat blueberry muffins and regular blueberry muffins is the lack of sugar on the former", said Assistant Manager J.
As the perplexed but satisfied customer walked away, I approached J. I have baked muffins before, and I know the simple procedure quite well. You go into the freezer, you get the frozen muffins, bring them back, put toppings on them, and stick them all into the oven. The stage of putting the toppings on the muffins is how sugar gets to the ones labelled "Blueberry" but not to the ones that say "Reduced Fat Blueberry" on those little muffin wrapping papers. It's just how we do it.
"J., did you just tell the customer that there is no difference between the two muffins?"
"There isn't", confirmed J. "They're all healthy".
"Right...I realise that", said I, as I thought to myself that they aren't any healthier than the doughnuts we sell. "But...", and the idea consumed me as I was unable to express it - it just seemed too obvious. The muffins came labelled differently, how could they be exactly the same? Surely, Corporate wouldn't be that dumb.
"But, J.", I tried again, "They are labelled individually. They must be made up of different ingredients. Otherwise, it's a lie."
"No, Oleh, the sugar is what makes them fatty. You see, the RF blueberry doesn't have sugar, so they are less fatty." J. was getting irritated.
Amazed at hearing this, I blurted out:
"Sugar and fat don't correlate though. Just 'cos something is sweet, doesn't make it fatty."
"Uhh, yeah, it does, " attacked J. in a quarterback manner.
"Soda has tons of sugar, but no fat in it", said I, feeling slightly idiosyncratic.
"Yeah, it does."
"Soda? No... It has no fat!"
"Why don't you go get a bottle of soda from the freezer and show me, OLEH?", and with those words she walked away."Why do you people always HAVE TO PROVE everyone else wrong?!", I heard her voice muffle through the walls.
I went over to the cooler, calmly got out a Mountain Dew and brought it to J. half satisfied at the upcoming resolution.
Unfortunately, however, J. seemed suddenly busy calculating something very fiercely. So much so that she didn't have the time to care about such pretty things as saturated fats and sugar levels. So i set the bottle on her table and went back.
I decided not to mention the fact that skim milk looks and tastes very much like the 2% milk that we have recently received a huge shipment of, and that the general manager P., who has worked with the company for ages, made me cover the wheat bagels in oats and bake them instead of baking the multigrain bagels, even though we had both kinds available. He could not understand the difference.
And yet, I get in trouble for not grinning to every customer. Customer satisfaction, they say, is key.
As the perplexed but satisfied customer walked away, I approached J. I have baked muffins before, and I know the simple procedure quite well. You go into the freezer, you get the frozen muffins, bring them back, put toppings on them, and stick them all into the oven. The stage of putting the toppings on the muffins is how sugar gets to the ones labelled "Blueberry" but not to the ones that say "Reduced Fat Blueberry" on those little muffin wrapping papers. It's just how we do it.
"J., did you just tell the customer that there is no difference between the two muffins?"
"There isn't", confirmed J. "They're all healthy".
"Right...I realise that", said I, as I thought to myself that they aren't any healthier than the doughnuts we sell. "But...", and the idea consumed me as I was unable to express it - it just seemed too obvious. The muffins came labelled differently, how could they be exactly the same? Surely, Corporate wouldn't be that dumb.
"But, J.", I tried again, "They are labelled individually. They must be made up of different ingredients. Otherwise, it's a lie."
"No, Oleh, the sugar is what makes them fatty. You see, the RF blueberry doesn't have sugar, so they are less fatty." J. was getting irritated.
Amazed at hearing this, I blurted out:
"Sugar and fat don't correlate though. Just 'cos something is sweet, doesn't make it fatty."
"Uhh, yeah, it does, " attacked J. in a quarterback manner.
"Soda has tons of sugar, but no fat in it", said I, feeling slightly idiosyncratic.
"Yeah, it does."
"Soda? No... It has no fat!"
"Why don't you go get a bottle of soda from the freezer and show me, OLEH?", and with those words she walked away."Why do you people always HAVE TO PROVE everyone else wrong?!", I heard her voice muffle through the walls.
I went over to the cooler, calmly got out a Mountain Dew and brought it to J. half satisfied at the upcoming resolution.
Unfortunately, however, J. seemed suddenly busy calculating something very fiercely. So much so that she didn't have the time to care about such pretty things as saturated fats and sugar levels. So i set the bottle on her table and went back.
I decided not to mention the fact that skim milk looks and tastes very much like the 2% milk that we have recently received a huge shipment of, and that the general manager P., who has worked with the company for ages, made me cover the wheat bagels in oats and bake them instead of baking the multigrain bagels, even though we had both kinds available. He could not understand the difference.
And yet, I get in trouble for not grinning to every customer. Customer satisfaction, they say, is key.
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