Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday, September 1, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
there is no cure for cancer
today i freaked out at this poor lady just because she was hopeful.
i'll let you all in on a little secret: there is no cure for cancer. cancer is a very, very complex disease that has no one cure. can a combination of new techniques make cancer an entirely curable disease? Yes. But there is no cure for cancer.
back to the poor lady: I went into sunglass hut because they sent me a 25$ gift card. they are smart--when you buy something, they send you a gift card for 25$ knowing that there is nothing sub 150$ in their store and hoping that you will spend the other 125+ to buy a sweet new pair of shades. so i compliment susan, the manager, on their strategy because i can admire that.
this was my mistake, because she talked to me for 40 minutes after that about her rare cancer, some jewish doctor in boston, turmeric (the indian spice she eats a lot of) and how i was important and should not get caught up in the system. she didn't really know what she was talking about, but she asked me to wish her luck in her biopsy on thursday and to keep up my work and find the cure of cancer (in case she is wrong about the jewish doctor in boston who solved it). i wished her good luck and looked up the stuff she wrote down on the back of her business card for me. please wish susan good luck.
Friday, August 8, 2008
camping
i was camping the other day in the negev desert, and there was a nice english family next to us. we started to chat it up, and we were getting along just fine. they asked me if any tour group in america would do something like this, when i realized i dont think many of them would. we would go to hotels and such. he told me his theory--that barack obama was going to change it all. that barack obama should run on a platform of americans camping. i like it.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
What I hate seeing on websites
"Sorry, yourscreenname is already registered as a Screen Name." Someone else beat you to the original wit you thought you had. Ha!
The most frustrating thing is seeing that message....thirty times.
The most frustrating thing is seeing that message....thirty times.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunblock
Apparently it's obvious to people that I buy a lot of sunblock. This guy at Walgreens was asking me about it as if I'm some kind of expert... Which I guess I am.
Also, how much difference is there really between spf 30 and 50? Or 50 and 70 for that matter? Hmm...
Also, how much difference is there really between spf 30 and 50? Or 50 and 70 for that matter? Hmm...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
customer satisfaction
"Sir, the only difference between the Reduced Fat blueberry muffins and regular blueberry muffins is the lack of sugar on the former", said Assistant Manager J.
As the perplexed but satisfied customer walked away, I approached J. I have baked muffins before, and I know the simple procedure quite well. You go into the freezer, you get the frozen muffins, bring them back, put toppings on them, and stick them all into the oven. The stage of putting the toppings on the muffins is how sugar gets to the ones labelled "Blueberry" but not to the ones that say "Reduced Fat Blueberry" on those little muffin wrapping papers. It's just how we do it.
"J., did you just tell the customer that there is no difference between the two muffins?"
"There isn't", confirmed J. "They're all healthy".
"Right...I realise that", said I, as I thought to myself that they aren't any healthier than the doughnuts we sell. "But...", and the idea consumed me as I was unable to express it - it just seemed too obvious. The muffins came labelled differently, how could they be exactly the same? Surely, Corporate wouldn't be that dumb.
"But, J.", I tried again, "They are labelled individually. They must be made up of different ingredients. Otherwise, it's a lie."
"No, Oleh, the sugar is what makes them fatty. You see, the RF blueberry doesn't have sugar, so they are less fatty." J. was getting irritated.
Amazed at hearing this, I blurted out:
"Sugar and fat don't correlate though. Just 'cos something is sweet, doesn't make it fatty."
"Uhh, yeah, it does, " attacked J. in a quarterback manner.
"Soda has tons of sugar, but no fat in it", said I, feeling slightly idiosyncratic.
"Yeah, it does."
"Soda? No... It has no fat!"
"Why don't you go get a bottle of soda from the freezer and show me, OLEH?", and with those words she walked away."Why do you people always HAVE TO PROVE everyone else wrong?!", I heard her voice muffle through the walls.
I went over to the cooler, calmly got out a Mountain Dew and brought it to J. half satisfied at the upcoming resolution.
Unfortunately, however, J. seemed suddenly busy calculating something very fiercely. So much so that she didn't have the time to care about such pretty things as saturated fats and sugar levels. So i set the bottle on her table and went back.
I decided not to mention the fact that skim milk looks and tastes very much like the 2% milk that we have recently received a huge shipment of, and that the general manager P., who has worked with the company for ages, made me cover the wheat bagels in oats and bake them instead of baking the multigrain bagels, even though we had both kinds available. He could not understand the difference.
And yet, I get in trouble for not grinning to every customer. Customer satisfaction, they say, is key.
As the perplexed but satisfied customer walked away, I approached J. I have baked muffins before, and I know the simple procedure quite well. You go into the freezer, you get the frozen muffins, bring them back, put toppings on them, and stick them all into the oven. The stage of putting the toppings on the muffins is how sugar gets to the ones labelled "Blueberry" but not to the ones that say "Reduced Fat Blueberry" on those little muffin wrapping papers. It's just how we do it.
"J., did you just tell the customer that there is no difference between the two muffins?"
"There isn't", confirmed J. "They're all healthy".
"Right...I realise that", said I, as I thought to myself that they aren't any healthier than the doughnuts we sell. "But...", and the idea consumed me as I was unable to express it - it just seemed too obvious. The muffins came labelled differently, how could they be exactly the same? Surely, Corporate wouldn't be that dumb.
"But, J.", I tried again, "They are labelled individually. They must be made up of different ingredients. Otherwise, it's a lie."
"No, Oleh, the sugar is what makes them fatty. You see, the RF blueberry doesn't have sugar, so they are less fatty." J. was getting irritated.
Amazed at hearing this, I blurted out:
"Sugar and fat don't correlate though. Just 'cos something is sweet, doesn't make it fatty."
"Uhh, yeah, it does, " attacked J. in a quarterback manner.
"Soda has tons of sugar, but no fat in it", said I, feeling slightly idiosyncratic.
"Yeah, it does."
"Soda? No... It has no fat!"
"Why don't you go get a bottle of soda from the freezer and show me, OLEH?", and with those words she walked away."Why do you people always HAVE TO PROVE everyone else wrong?!", I heard her voice muffle through the walls.
I went over to the cooler, calmly got out a Mountain Dew and brought it to J. half satisfied at the upcoming resolution.
Unfortunately, however, J. seemed suddenly busy calculating something very fiercely. So much so that she didn't have the time to care about such pretty things as saturated fats and sugar levels. So i set the bottle on her table and went back.
I decided not to mention the fact that skim milk looks and tastes very much like the 2% milk that we have recently received a huge shipment of, and that the general manager P., who has worked with the company for ages, made me cover the wheat bagels in oats and bake them instead of baking the multigrain bagels, even though we had both kinds available. He could not understand the difference.
And yet, I get in trouble for not grinning to every customer. Customer satisfaction, they say, is key.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Living in harmony
Well, I'll probably be posting a bunch in the future about this summer at camp. My camp takes us to the Canadian wilderness to canoe and I've fallen in love with the beauty of the region. I'd really like to share a few stories that I've thought a lot about and hopefully people reading this can choose to get their own meaning out of it.
One of my best friends at camp spent the previous summer in Thailand, where she spent six weeks traveling village to village, backpacking, and staying with locals to better understand the culture. On a trip with her to the English River, we came across a campsite filled with what we call "no see ems"- little, tiny bugs that make you bleed when they bite you, giving you lots of scabs. Our faces were bloodied from the bugs and we were all ready to retire to our tents and kill each and every single bug that may have crept into our tent. As my friend and I were sitting by the water, she said : "You know, these bugs are just like the bugs we encountered one day as we were meditating with the monks in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand. But we couldn't kill them; we were in the monastery. Although we were struggling to take our minds off of the bugs, the monks looked to be living in harmony with the bugs that harassed them."
One of my best friends at camp spent the previous summer in Thailand, where she spent six weeks traveling village to village, backpacking, and staying with locals to better understand the culture. On a trip with her to the English River, we came across a campsite filled with what we call "no see ems"- little, tiny bugs that make you bleed when they bite you, giving you lots of scabs. Our faces were bloodied from the bugs and we were all ready to retire to our tents and kill each and every single bug that may have crept into our tent. As my friend and I were sitting by the water, she said : "You know, these bugs are just like the bugs we encountered one day as we were meditating with the monks in a Buddhist monastery in Thailand. But we couldn't kill them; we were in the monastery. Although we were struggling to take our minds off of the bugs, the monks looked to be living in harmony with the bugs that harassed them."
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
"I hate my life."
Sometimes I sympathize with people who have that sentiment.
But most of the time, I think, "Seriously, middle-class overdramatic emo kid trying to sound deep and pathetic at the same time, while living in America (one of the richest countries in the world), get a grip. Your life isn't half as bad as you might think."
I'm sorry if that sounds insensitive.
But most of the time, I think, "Seriously, middle-class overdramatic emo kid trying to sound deep and pathetic at the same time, while living in America (one of the richest countries in the world), get a grip. Your life isn't half as bad as you might think."
I'm sorry if that sounds insensitive.
Monday, July 7, 2008
i believe in summer plums
you know, the kind that are so juicy you have to eat over the kitchen sink
otherwise the bloodred fruit comes down around your fingers and makes you feel sticky for hours
these are the fruits that have to be enjoyed outside, with your toes and soles and calves in the still-damp grass
when the humidity is the warm washcloth that works its way in until each bone is wrapped in a delightfully soft layer that makes everything seem fuzzier
even though my life has probably never seemed more dull to anyone else
i truly believe
that i am really living
otherwise the bloodred fruit comes down around your fingers and makes you feel sticky for hours
these are the fruits that have to be enjoyed outside, with your toes and soles and calves in the still-damp grass
when the humidity is the warm washcloth that works its way in until each bone is wrapped in a delightfully soft layer that makes everything seem fuzzier
even though my life has probably never seemed more dull to anyone else
i truly believe
that i am really living
A Gentle Wave
A beaded dragonfly's wayward hovering
Doesn't appear to be as much fun
As taming the moon's continual minions
In broad daylight; the sun snickers
A land where the days and nights are long
Every dish is homemade
Private gazebos are infiltrated and overthrown
Humans sound like unmuzzled mutts; pedigrees disappear
As I write sheltered, enjoying the lofty breeze
In foreign script the NSA couldn't decipher
The insects chirp freely as the blackbird flocks buzz
Gossiping about their anticipated meal
Yes, you may find me here
With a foot on the bench and a foot on the ground
Observing with titillation of the senses
In a gem so neatly tucked away
I'm in a land, where the trees are tall
And some could recall, when they were planted
My writing whimsy soiling a summer day
In Wauconda.
Doesn't appear to be as much fun
As taming the moon's continual minions
In broad daylight; the sun snickers
A land where the days and nights are long
Every dish is homemade
Private gazebos are infiltrated and overthrown
Humans sound like unmuzzled mutts; pedigrees disappear
As I write sheltered, enjoying the lofty breeze
In foreign script the NSA couldn't decipher
The insects chirp freely as the blackbird flocks buzz
Gossiping about their anticipated meal
Yes, you may find me here
With a foot on the bench and a foot on the ground
Observing with titillation of the senses
In a gem so neatly tucked away
I'm in a land, where the trees are tall
And some could recall, when they were planted
My writing whimsy soiling a summer day
In Wauconda.
the holy land
so i am in israel right now, and i am loving my few minutes of computer access here and there. i am doing biochemistry research at hebrew university in jerusalem, and also doing lots of jewish studies stuff.
this science meets religion thing is really pressing me, and i don't know what to think about it. i wish i knew all the answers. but for now i will enjoy the ice coffee and hummus instead of thinking about this question.
note: ceecee and i think that all authors should post more. tell us about your summers or something :)
this science meets religion thing is really pressing me, and i don't know what to think about it. i wish i knew all the answers. but for now i will enjoy the ice coffee and hummus instead of thinking about this question.
note: ceecee and i think that all authors should post more. tell us about your summers or something :)
Saturday, June 28, 2008
WTF at my dreams, They're ridiculous.
Okay, lately I have been having some crazy dreams, and I know I posted one earlier about Siva and Meena Iyer's imaginary sister. I know RG gave the advice to only tell those who are involved in the dreams, but these are just too crazy. Also lately I've had the uncanny ability to remember them in pretty good detail.
1. (This is me speaking to Jake Maloney, mostly copied and pasted off of his facebook wall with some editing.) So I had this crazy dream where a serial killer is on the lose in a neighborhood and the serial killer's MO is to slice open the victim's throat. So I was on the case I guess, but I was in this public bathroom I guess taking a piss and I was really thinking hard about who was the killer, while another man was in the stall taking a dump I presume, and we got to talking. He was asking me about the recent killings and such. I thought I recognized his voice, but wasn't sure. Well I was still taking a piss when he came up behind me and said something to me just as I finished and turned around. There you were with a very sharp pencil thin blade, and you said something evil to me and lunged at me, I ducked and grabbed your arm and We fought back and forth and finally I sliced your neck a little and then that weakened your grip and I got a full on slice of your neck and split it from side to side (Thus killing you with the same MO that had killed your victims). You were gasping and stuff and you walked outside the public bathroom. I know it is impossible for you to speak now, but yet the police had caught wind of where you were and had surrounded the bathroom and you stumbled out and said something. I do not remember what it was, but it was so evil it sent a chill down my titanium spine.
2. My friends and I are gathered in some sort of room having a nice party. Suddenly the enviroment shifts and the world is taken over by Alien Gorilla type creatures (think Planet of the Apes style mixed with a bit of Klingon). Suffice it to say they take over pretty efficiently. But luckily for my friends and I (and the human race) me and an accomplice (do not remember who, think he was Caucasian) find these two guns that can change states if matter not mention just straight up make matter disappear. So we start using these guns to make the matter that is the gorrila-klingon's heads disappear. We dispatch all of them, but then we accidentally turn the entire planet (or at least the room we're in which is a symbol for the entire planet) into water. So me and my accomplice are like, "What the heck? We'lljust recreate the earth." So we end up using out guns to turn the water into other types of matter such as land and etc. So we begin terraforming our planet.
3. Oh I am sorry my third one is very random and although I do remember parts of it clearly if I wrote it all out it would be just too scattered and confusing. Just to give you a little something, it is split up into mini-dreams. One invlolves their being a very big fire in an auditorium (not the IMSA one) but it was full of IMSA kids, and so we struggle to run out. The second involves me going to a new school and having to try to fit in there (awkward). The third is interconnected with the second but involves me blackmailing Kenneth "Chi" McBride (Google image that one, you know him) into giving me 50 pieces of fried chicken, because he worked at a fried chicken shack. The fourth involves a schoolwide skip day in which I didn't know so in order to escape I use the fried chicken box and get someone to mistake it for a bomb and walk home. The fifth involves a schoolwide assembly and one long speech was being said except it was broken up into parts and teachers and some students got to say parts of it. I read my part and it was the corniest one ever. It was filled with ridiculous puns that fade from my mind. Now the school was very free spirited and did what they want, so as the speaker before me was talking everyone started to leave. Sarah Trevor was sitting on stage with the orchestra (they obviously were trapped and could not leave) and asked me why I wasn't leaving and I showed her that I was a speaker. I remember wondering why they chose me to speak. Any ways I got on stage, and I messed up my first line. Then I woke up and was glad because embarrassments in dreams are not real ones. So now I leave you with one of my favorite XKCD's.
It is titled "Every Damn Morning"
1. (This is me speaking to Jake Maloney, mostly copied and pasted off of his facebook wall with some editing.) So I had this crazy dream where a serial killer is on the lose in a neighborhood and the serial killer's MO is to slice open the victim's throat. So I was on the case I guess, but I was in this public bathroom I guess taking a piss and I was really thinking hard about who was the killer, while another man was in the stall taking a dump I presume, and we got to talking. He was asking me about the recent killings and such. I thought I recognized his voice, but wasn't sure. Well I was still taking a piss when he came up behind me and said something to me just as I finished and turned around. There you were with a very sharp pencil thin blade, and you said something evil to me and lunged at me, I ducked and grabbed your arm and We fought back and forth and finally I sliced your neck a little and then that weakened your grip and I got a full on slice of your neck and split it from side to side (Thus killing you with the same MO that had killed your victims). You were gasping and stuff and you walked outside the public bathroom. I know it is impossible for you to speak now, but yet the police had caught wind of where you were and had surrounded the bathroom and you stumbled out and said something. I do not remember what it was, but it was so evil it sent a chill down my titanium spine.
2. My friends and I are gathered in some sort of room having a nice party. Suddenly the enviroment shifts and the world is taken over by Alien Gorilla type creatures (think Planet of the Apes style mixed with a bit of Klingon). Suffice it to say they take over pretty efficiently. But luckily for my friends and I (and the human race) me and an accomplice (do not remember who, think he was Caucasian) find these two guns that can change states if matter not mention just straight up make matter disappear. So we start using these guns to make the matter that is the gorrila-klingon's heads disappear. We dispatch all of them, but then we accidentally turn the entire planet (or at least the room we're in which is a symbol for the entire planet) into water. So me and my accomplice are like, "What the heck? We'lljust recreate the earth." So we end up using out guns to turn the water into other types of matter such as land and etc. So we begin terraforming our planet.
3. Oh I am sorry my third one is very random and although I do remember parts of it clearly if I wrote it all out it would be just too scattered and confusing. Just to give you a little something, it is split up into mini-dreams. One invlolves their being a very big fire in an auditorium (not the IMSA one) but it was full of IMSA kids, and so we struggle to run out. The second involves me going to a new school and having to try to fit in there (awkward). The third is interconnected with the second but involves me blackmailing Kenneth "Chi" McBride (Google image that one, you know him) into giving me 50 pieces of fried chicken, because he worked at a fried chicken shack. The fourth involves a schoolwide skip day in which I didn't know so in order to escape I use the fried chicken box and get someone to mistake it for a bomb and walk home. The fifth involves a schoolwide assembly and one long speech was being said except it was broken up into parts and teachers and some students got to say parts of it. I read my part and it was the corniest one ever. It was filled with ridiculous puns that fade from my mind. Now the school was very free spirited and did what they want, so as the speaker before me was talking everyone started to leave. Sarah Trevor was sitting on stage with the orchestra (they obviously were trapped and could not leave) and asked me why I wasn't leaving and I showed her that I was a speaker. I remember wondering why they chose me to speak. Any ways I got on stage, and I messed up my first line. Then I woke up and was glad because embarrassments in dreams are not real ones. So now I leave you with one of my favorite XKCD's.
It is titled "Every Damn Morning"Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Perspective
(haha, i found this from a long time ago...)
With your eyes, up and down,
Compare me to a scale,
Of yesterday's lunch.
Society breeds.
Learn a lesson in life,
Reciprocate so you don't lose,
So you won't fall,
Alone.
Memories will stay in my head,
Where I anchor them, so they won't fly away.
Like helium balloons,
Tied on white fences,
Be careful, they pop easily.
Splattered colors lie on the grass,
The sky continues to grow.
Mistakes.
Hope lies on the heart,
A silver locket with a long chain.
Hidden behind layers,
And warm to the touch.
If the key is gold, how will it fit?
If it's not perfect, how will it last?
Question, wonder, discover
Life has it's ups and downs.
Choose.
Aldo: i don't know why but some reason i feel this picture represents my life...
Me: haha...what?
Aldo: ah idk...=]
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I can't think of a witty title for this one.
I just got back from my trip to Kyiv. I made a lot of good friends, and absolutely love the city, the culture, and the people there. It got to the point where I could barely imagine life before or after Kyiv, and I was only there for eight days. I loved that trip, and the people I met on it...and, the day after coming back to America, I fell back into my usual rut easily, like I'd never been gone. And when I go back next summer, everyone will have changed, and I know for a fact that three or four people won't be there anymore. It'll be like a lifetime has passed, and I missed all of it.
Monday, June 23, 2008
My apologies to Siva and Meena Iyer
So I had this weird dream last night:
Myself and a group of my close friends and a not so close acquaintance (Will Smith, but a vampire version of him) get ripped off in a drug deal. So we decide that we are going to exact revenge and obtain AK-47's (Automatic rifle Kalashnikov model of 1947 year). Right before we lure them into our trap and... shoot them I am hanging out with some fictitious (hopefully) younger sister to Meena and Siva Iyer. The trap springs and all the parties that had wronged us go down, except little imaginary Iyer does as well.
Now my group of close friends decide to pin this all on vampire Will Smith, but Meena comes up to me (this is all at IMSA by the way) and asks if I had seen her little sister, because I was last seen with her. I answer "No," but feel tremendous guilt. I then go back to my room and clean because it is dirty, decline an offer to do drugs, and fix a hole in the window screen which had been letting in flies and other such bugs that I hate.
So I am sorry for killing your imaginary (hopefully you do not have a younger sister) younger sister Meena and Siva.
Jae
P.S. I woke up and said to myself twice "I'm so glad I'm not at IMSA anymore."
Myself and a group of my close friends and a not so close acquaintance (Will Smith, but a vampire version of him) get ripped off in a drug deal. So we decide that we are going to exact revenge and obtain AK-47's (Automatic rifle Kalashnikov model of 1947 year). Right before we lure them into our trap and... shoot them I am hanging out with some fictitious (hopefully) younger sister to Meena and Siva Iyer. The trap springs and all the parties that had wronged us go down, except little imaginary Iyer does as well.
Now my group of close friends decide to pin this all on vampire Will Smith, but Meena comes up to me (this is all at IMSA by the way) and asks if I had seen her little sister, because I was last seen with her. I answer "No," but feel tremendous guilt. I then go back to my room and clean because it is dirty, decline an offer to do drugs, and fix a hole in the window screen which had been letting in flies and other such bugs that I hate.
So I am sorry for killing your imaginary (hopefully you do not have a younger sister) younger sister Meena and Siva.
Jae
P.S. I woke up and said to myself twice "I'm so glad I'm not at IMSA anymore."
Friday, June 20, 2008
one last thing
PS: apparently someone has figured out my passowrd and views everyone else's profile a billion times.
to that person, whoever you are: please stop being a creep.
kloveyouthxbai.
to that person, whoever you are: please stop being a creep.
kloveyouthxbai.
writer's block
i find that i often log into this website in an attempt to record my thoughts. i do so because i feel i still have so much to say, but don't have a clue where to begin.
writing was the only means of expressing my thoughts in the most uncandid and uncensored ways possible. it kept me sane.
and now it has become obsolete.
so here's the million dollar question: what does one do now?
hmm...maybe going insane won't be such a bad thing.
writing was the only means of expressing my thoughts in the most uncandid and uncensored ways possible. it kept me sane.
and now it has become obsolete.
so here's the million dollar question: what does one do now?
hmm...maybe going insane won't be such a bad thing.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
goodnight.
i haven't said "i love you" to my parents in a long time
they haven't noticed.
we sure are one big happy family :]
they haven't noticed.
we sure are one big happy family :]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
