Risks... Why can't I take them?

Actually posted this on my own blog a few days ago:

Here's something I'm thinking about right now. I'm watching Dancing with the Stars and Marlee Matlin just performed. She did pretty well, for her second dance. What's special about her is that she can't hear the music. She's almost completely deaf, yet she still came out and volunteered for the show and has been trying her best.

I've been told before that I should take more risks. Do more things that scare me. Now, a lot of things scare me. I've classified myself as paranoid before. But I'll admit, I'm not very fond of stepping out of my comfort zone... A quote I keep running across is, "Well-behaved women rarely make history."

Okay, so I'm ranting, but here's what I'm getting at: I want to take risks. I want to make my life more exciting. I enjoy the thrill of doing something a little bit scary, but... it's like I'm in this shell, and I don't know how to break out.

When I do take a risk, even if it's a tiny one that no one else notices, and it goes badly, it's like taking two steps back. I just turn bright red and make a mental note not to do the same thing again. Everytime this happens, it creates a brand new fear for me.

Sometimes I find that I'm able to just throw all my inhibitions out the window, even if it's just for a little while. Those times tend to be my best... that's when my adrenaline is pumping and I enjoy every moment of whatever I'm doing. It's... such a thrill.

So this has all been pretty random. Long story short: I want to put more excitement into my life... but I honestly don't know how.