I <3 aspartame

My mother is going through an anti-aspartame phase, and has forbidden anything containing the stuff to enter the house any longer.

Around noon today, I drank my last can of Diet Coke.

I am a pretty big fan of Diet Coke.

I don’t have my license.

Hmm, problem. Then I had an epiphany.

Using the wonderful technology that’s available today, I visited the Domino’s website. I tried to place an order for 1 two-liter, but no beans. They have a $8.99 minimum order for delivery. But that wasn’t going to stop me! So I ordered 4 two-liter bottles of Diet Coke. The site informed me that their expert delivery man, Deon, was going to get me my order in a jiffy. I waited and waited, but no Deon. Where was Deon??

Then, my mother came home. Ohh shooot.

Thankfully, our trash was nearly full. I played the Good Daughter and asked to take out the trash. My mother, surprised but pleased, said of course. I loitered outside for a bit, and thank God, DEON!! He looks at me funnily, and says, “Iz this yo ordah? Foor litahs of Diet?” I hurriedly responded yes, paid him, and managed to sneak the four 2-liter bottles of Diet Coke back to my room.

Crisis averted!

Diet Coke in my tummy!

I win.